Saturday, May 01, 2004
verizon wireless: we never stop trying to screw you over
So, some of you might know, some of you might not, i can't remember if i posted this here:
I LOST MY CELLPHONE!! eeeeeeek!!! but i didn't really care because i had just met joan jett, and of course i bought the forty dollar insurance when i got the phone, just to protect myself against this kind of thing.
Soooooo.....
today i called verizon wireless ("we never stop working for you haahahaha") to cancel the phone that i lost and to get my *free* new cellphone (side note: snickers had eaten my old cellphone charger the day before i left) and charger (evil laugh here). there were no problems canceling the old phone, but when i tried to collect my *free* new cellphone (as was promised to me upon purchasing the insurance, or as i like to call it, the "big lie rip-off") the guy was all like uh you dont have insurance. I think this would be best represented in the form of a dialogue between me (r) and verizon asshole guy (vag):
r: so, uh, i got the insurance, so my new phone should be free right?
vag: uhm, i'm just looking here at your record, let me pull it up, uh, er, uh, okay, i'm showing that you *don't* have insurance....
r: huh? i distinctly remember buying it, it was like 45 bux or something...
vag: no, our insurance is $4.95/month.
r: uh, no it was 45 bux.
vag: well what you got was obviously not insurance then.
r: i remember the guy was all like hey buy our insurance and it's only 45 bux which is less than two dollars a month for the life of your contract and should you lose, have your phone stolen, or it gets broken, you get a free phone.
vag: uh, no. you don't have insurance. you do qualify for oops.
r: huh? what did you just say?
vag: you qualify for oops, which is where uninsured customers get a phone for cheaper should they lose theirs.
r: how much is the cheapest one?
vag: uh we have the nokia blahblah piece of crap for 80 dollars.
r: huh?!! i got the insurance.
vag: no you didn't.
r: well what should i do about the insurance, just find my receipt or something.
vag: well you could do that, had you purchased it.
r: whatever *click*
so basically that guy was a total jerk and i hung up on him. i wanted to be like, i'm not stupid. okay. i'm a freaking PHD student, and i think my memory is okay. i distinctly remember purchasing the phone, i remember everything about that day, even what i was wearing. (if anyone wants to quiz me on that they can). i even remember that the guy who sold it to me used to live in our exact apartment, because he almost had an aneurysm when he saw my address. i bought the freaking insurance!!!!!!
so, anyway, i decided, i'm going to call those freakheads back. so i called back and i pushed "4" to cancel my contract. i think the people there are trained to make sure they do everything so that you don't cancel your contract. i'll represent this as a dialogue between raedy (r) and verizon nice girl (vng):
r: yes i would like to cancel my contract.
vng: okay i can help you with that. you know it's going to be a $175 fee, right?
r: yeah i know, let me tell you the story (recounts story for vng) basically i'm sick of your company; i've had all these problems and everyone keeps trying to screw me over.
vng: oh, i'm sorry...well let me tell you, you are eligible for the blahblah plan where you get a phone up to 100 dollars for free...
r: oh? do explain.
vng: well i see here you had the kyocera (8000 year old phone). were you comfortable with that one?
r: i will take whatever is free, i don't care.
vng: well we have the kyocera blahblah which is a newer model and it folds up into itself, not like a flip phone, but it sort of shoots the screen out the end when you get a call, have you seen the commercials?
r: no, i haven't, sounds good.
vng: well that's $50 but then you get a $50 mail-in rebate.
r: so it's free?
vng: yeah.
r; and it comes with a chargeer (heh heh)
vng: yeah. it will be there in 7 to ten days.
so basically everything worked out. my advice is that if someone tries to feed you a line, keep calling until you get the answers you want. try sounding more important, wealthier, and angrier each time you call. and never ever ever ever use verizon wireless. ever. anyone have a cellphone deal that they like? my contract expires in july and i'm looking to get a different one...thanks for yr help.
r
So, some of you might know, some of you might not, i can't remember if i posted this here:
I LOST MY CELLPHONE!! eeeeeeek!!! but i didn't really care because i had just met joan jett, and of course i bought the forty dollar insurance when i got the phone, just to protect myself against this kind of thing.
Soooooo.....
today i called verizon wireless ("we never stop working for you haahahaha") to cancel the phone that i lost and to get my *free* new cellphone (side note: snickers had eaten my old cellphone charger the day before i left) and charger (evil laugh here). there were no problems canceling the old phone, but when i tried to collect my *free* new cellphone (as was promised to me upon purchasing the insurance, or as i like to call it, the "big lie rip-off") the guy was all like uh you dont have insurance. I think this would be best represented in the form of a dialogue between me (r) and verizon asshole guy (vag):
r: so, uh, i got the insurance, so my new phone should be free right?
vag: uhm, i'm just looking here at your record, let me pull it up, uh, er, uh, okay, i'm showing that you *don't* have insurance....
r: huh? i distinctly remember buying it, it was like 45 bux or something...
vag: no, our insurance is $4.95/month.
r: uh, no it was 45 bux.
vag: well what you got was obviously not insurance then.
r: i remember the guy was all like hey buy our insurance and it's only 45 bux which is less than two dollars a month for the life of your contract and should you lose, have your phone stolen, or it gets broken, you get a free phone.
vag: uh, no. you don't have insurance. you do qualify for oops.
r: huh? what did you just say?
vag: you qualify for oops, which is where uninsured customers get a phone for cheaper should they lose theirs.
r: how much is the cheapest one?
vag: uh we have the nokia blahblah piece of crap for 80 dollars.
r: huh?!! i got the insurance.
vag: no you didn't.
r: well what should i do about the insurance, just find my receipt or something.
vag: well you could do that, had you purchased it.
r: whatever *click*
so basically that guy was a total jerk and i hung up on him. i wanted to be like, i'm not stupid. okay. i'm a freaking PHD student, and i think my memory is okay. i distinctly remember purchasing the phone, i remember everything about that day, even what i was wearing. (if anyone wants to quiz me on that they can). i even remember that the guy who sold it to me used to live in our exact apartment, because he almost had an aneurysm when he saw my address. i bought the freaking insurance!!!!!!
so, anyway, i decided, i'm going to call those freakheads back. so i called back and i pushed "4" to cancel my contract. i think the people there are trained to make sure they do everything so that you don't cancel your contract. i'll represent this as a dialogue between raedy (r) and verizon nice girl (vng):
r: yes i would like to cancel my contract.
vng: okay i can help you with that. you know it's going to be a $175 fee, right?
r: yeah i know, let me tell you the story (recounts story for vng) basically i'm sick of your company; i've had all these problems and everyone keeps trying to screw me over.
vng: oh, i'm sorry...well let me tell you, you are eligible for the blahblah plan where you get a phone up to 100 dollars for free...
r: oh? do explain.
vng: well i see here you had the kyocera (8000 year old phone). were you comfortable with that one?
r: i will take whatever is free, i don't care.
vng: well we have the kyocera blahblah which is a newer model and it folds up into itself, not like a flip phone, but it sort of shoots the screen out the end when you get a call, have you seen the commercials?
r: no, i haven't, sounds good.
vng: well that's $50 but then you get a $50 mail-in rebate.
r: so it's free?
vng: yeah.
r; and it comes with a chargeer (heh heh)
vng: yeah. it will be there in 7 to ten days.
so basically everything worked out. my advice is that if someone tries to feed you a line, keep calling until you get the answers you want. try sounding more important, wealthier, and angrier each time you call. and never ever ever ever use verizon wireless. ever. anyone have a cellphone deal that they like? my contract expires in july and i'm looking to get a different one...thanks for yr help.
r
