rah rah sis boom bah

i uploaded some photos on my photoblog.
click on the link to the right. do it!!! DO IT!!!

so, i just signed up for a course, Economics 101, and it's taught by a Professor Bush. here is the course description:

"When a fellow American has more money in his or her pocket they're more likely to demand a good or service. And in the marketplace which we have in America, when somebody demands a good or a service, somebody is more likely willing to produce that good or service, and when somebody produces the good or service it means somebody is more likely to find work."

ohhhh, it all makes sense now.

"...while one of us can't do everything to help heal the hurt of America, each of us can do something to help make somebody's life in your community a better place."
Translation: "(As I am a totally and uncomprehendingly ineffective man, I) can't do (anything) to help heal the hurt of America (unless, of course, you are talking about my wealthy, warmongering friends, in which case, I've helped them a lot), each of (you poor and/or working or middle class people) can do something to help make (my) life...a better place (although lives aren't necessarily places, unless I'm trying to be poetic which is probably not the case)...by voting for me in the upcoming election."

quote of the day

"With us, as well, is two other fine members of the congressional delegation from Pennsylvania."

greeeat.

well i'm home from school super early today...8:00!! woooooo!!!!

okay well i'm gonna go eat now.
xo
ky, thanks for updating. i'm sorry your fishes died. you should let the water sit out for 24 hours before you put them in it. get some new ones and try again.

"There was a good news story in Mississippi. I went down there--it wasn't because of me--it was because of the doctors and the citizens understand the cost of a trial system gone array."
i'm always on the news and yooooouuuurrrreeee nooooottttt. nyah nyah nyah nyah boo boo. i understand that our president's brain may have gone array. maybe it's all the cocaine.

if my sister does not update her blog soon, i am absolutely going to vomit on her favorite shirt.

okay so now that i got that out of my system. sorry i don't have a bush quote quite yet, i'm still at the lab. but, raedy, you say, you've been there nearly 12 hours. shouldn't you go home and love your bunny? and i say, yes, yes i should. but i cannot. i have work to do and dammit aren't i a hardworker. someone please express approval of me. please. or i shall work myself into an early grave. and i shall fall aslep at my desk. quite soon because i didn't get enough sleep last night because i had to get up so freaking early.did you know that the Kronecker product of x and y, denoted by x o y, resembles scalar multiplication of a matrix in that y is multiplied by each element of x? i hate matrices. with a passion. if ever i saw a matrix bending over to pick up a burrito off the ground, i would split its skull with an axe. that was your mathetmatical violence for today. please visit tomorrow when i will teach you to destroy poisson distributions!

xo

if my sister does not update her blog soon, i am absolutely going to vomit on her favorite shirt.

okay so now that i got that out of my system. sorry i don't have a bush quote quite yet, i'm still at the lab. but, raedy, you say, you've been there nearly 12 hours. shouldn't you go home and love your bunny? and i say, yes, yes i should. but i cannot. i have work to do and dammit aren't i a hardworker. someone please express approval of me. please. or i shall work myself into an early grave. and i shall fall aslep at my desk. quite soon because i didn't get enough sleep last night because i had to get up so freaking early.did you know that the Kronecker product of x and y, denoted by x o y, resembles scalar multiplication of a matrix in that y is multiplied by each element of x? i hate matrices. with a passion. if ever i saw a matrix bending over to pick up a burrito off the ground, i would split its skull with an axe. that was your mathetmatical violence for today. please visit tomorrow when i will teach you to destroy poisson distributions!

xo

quoteses

so i was talking online to my friend shaunica and she had a book of bushisms, so she gave me a few of her favorites:

"One of the greatest things about book is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures."
what about the words, man? what about the words?

"Rarely is the question asked: is our children learning?"
that question is most probably "rarely asked" because, well, i think we all know why.

"I mean, there needs to be a wholesale effort against racial profiling, which is illiterate children."
okay, this one, i can't even figure out what in the hell he's trying to say...i mean usually i get it, but this one...nevermind.

and, from my archives, for today, or something:

"And...it's gettin' worse. That's what people have gotta understand up there in Washington, or over there in Washington, down there in Washington, wherever--thought I was in Crawford for a minute."
--referring to increases in the cost of medical malpractice insurance. speaking in scranton, pennsylvania (north and slightly east of d.c.)
dont they like brief him or something? "sir, today we're in pennsylvania, here's a map. this is the united states. here's scranton, here's d.c., and look, this is where mickey mouse lives *pointing to disneyworld*.isn't that neato?

and here's a quote from his mother. i'd like to ask her how she raised such an incompetent jackass.

"And who knows? Somewhere out there in this audience may even be someone who will one day follow in my footsteps and preside over the White House as the president's spouse. I wish him well."
now that's quotable.

the following have caused argument and/or sour feelings between mike and me in the past 24 hours

a nail
a coatrack
a cranberries song
a volume dial
taco bell

thank you and please watch your step.

some evil being has attacked my blog.

but that's okay with me.

i find it humorous, you know the ads that google puts at the top of your page...so i'm going to list people's blogs and the ads that are associated with them:

melissa
"find that t-shirt here"...did you lose something?
"t-shirt shop"...what? i didn't see anything about t-shirts on your blog...
related searches: "tyler durden" and "fame" interesting.

nophotome
"Custom Printed Tickets":did everyone get their custom printed tickets? for the gun show? *kissing biceps* (thanks jd)
"Parking Access Control": what am i, big brother or something?
related searches: "lax parking" and "newark airport parking" does someone want me to park laxly in newark? i don't get it....

photome
a bunch of blog ads, not humorous.

sister blog
for some reason, does not contain ads. sisterhood need not be supported by crass commercialization!

liz
for some stranger reason, also adless. uninhibited bitching and ranting need not be supported by crass commercialization either!

stacey
"Christmas carols" which is Ukranian koljadky and shchedrivky bringing us the feel of the holidays!
"That Christmas Feeling" which is, of course, Glenn Campbell's Definitive Xmas Cd, including "little toy trains" only $15.99...i can't tell you how many times this has been mentioned on her blog.
related searches: "christmas lights" and "christmas"

jd
blog-related ads
related searches: "used guitars" and "acoustic guitars" that makes sense.

michael
blog related ads....yawn.

jenny
blog related ad. yawn.

chris daniels
also blank. what the hell....

my sister's blog
"Aggressive Skates on Sale"....oh no kylaina, watch out for those aggressive skates..they might attack!
"Low Price Skates"
related searches: "roller skates" and "aggressive skating"

okay that wasn't as fun as i thought it would be but i spent all this time looking at all those blogs so i'm publishing this anyway.

more quotes, ye say?

due to the overwhelming support of yesterday's posting of quotes, here are more. (okay there was no support but i'm givin em to ya anyway...)

"The law I sign today directs new funds and new focus to the task of collecting vital intelligence on terrorist threats and on weapons of mass production."
mass production, oh noooooooooooo!!!!!! i hate productivity. i, president bush, am a weapon of mass production! *kisses biceps*

"Clear Skies legislation, when passed by Congress, will significantly reduce smog and mercury admissions, as well as stop acid rain."
okay, i admit it. i admit mercury. and smog.

"The goals for this country are peace in the world. And the goals for this country are a compassionate American for every single citizen."
I can't really accept that second goal, because, quite frankly, it confuses and disturbs me.

"You've got to have certainty in the system that requires risk."
i'm certain about risk, sir. yessir.

"These are the far most reaching reforms of American business since Franklin Roosevelt was the President."
i'm not a historian or anything or, heck, i'm not even the president. but i think he means teddy, not franklin....

Barbara Walters: "Isn't it all--so much of it--about oil? Shouldn't we be changing our energy policy?"
Bush: "The war on terror has nothing to do about oil."
with, george, with. not about. *smacks palm to forehead and sighs*

"One year ago today the time for excuse-making has come to an end."
They say creating words is a sign of intelligence. what about creating your own grammar?

"Today we got Pamela Hedrick with us today."
When? today, dammit, today!

"You've stood with us against a deadly threat. And we will stand with you, to help bring an end to the terrible regional conflicts that brings so much suffering to innocent Africans--from Congro, to Sudan, to the Ivory Coast."
again, i'm not a geographer or anything, but i *think* it's Congo...but don't quote me on that. ha.

"Policies that stimulate growth ought to be the centerplace of public policy."
okay. i can agree with that, i think. i'm not sure, but i think.

well i have a full day of absolutely nothing ahead of me, save for studying and cleaning house and buying the new mtx album. so i just might put up some photos. i just might. xo

Some quotes:
"This country has no designs on Cuba's soverty; we have no designs on the soverty of Cuba."
That's right, soverty. woo.

"...help Russia securitize the dismantling--the dismantled nucular warheads."
securitize? you mean secure? adding syllables doesn't necessarily make you sound smarterish.

"Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better."
canada and mexico share a border? ooookayy....*walking slowly backwards, reaching for doorknob*

"Matter of fact, there haven't been a morning that haven't gone by that I haven't saw--seen--or read threats (of terrorism)"
no comment.

"First of all, I appreciate the wisdom of Chairman Greenspan. He uses the word, 'soft spot'. I use the word, 'bumpin along'."
not really sure what to say, because i'm not quite sure what this means.

"Perhaps the biggest problem is that we have passed children from grade to grade, year after year, and those child haven't learned the basics of reading and math."
I think the biggest problem is that we have 'elected' a president who haven't learned the basics of subject-verb agreement. Pick up a second-grade textbook, George. Read a little.

"Parents and educators will not be bystandards in education reform."
oh my. thems fightin words.

"We're here for have a substanative talk on a lot of issues."
I feel like I'm proofreading one of my Japanese friends' term papers or something. Good grief, man.

"We expect Saddam Hussein, for the sake of peace, to disarm. That's the question."
No, georgie, I think the question is "huh?" cause i didn't hear a question there. that's a statement, buddy. put on your helmet so you dont smash your head against the wall during your tard-fit.

and the last for today:
Reporter: "Mr. President, is Secretary Powell going to provide the undeniable proof of Iraq's guilt that so many critics are calling for?"
Bush: "Well, all due in modesty, I thought I did a pretty good job myself of making it clear that he's not disarming."
a bit of advice: if you can't formulate sentences, don't try to add cute little sayings here and there.

as you can see i got a page-a-day calendar from chris in the mail today. since it's the 24th already, i got to read a lot of them. that was fun. there are the highlights.
xo

happy boobsday to me

hahaha i'm insane.
anyway mike and i are having a "tourist's weekend" in chicago, because he has the weekend off after working everyday for the past forever. so yesterday we decided we were going to go to the museum of contemporary art, located in the heart of chicago's magnificent mile. mike thought we should take the train but we woke up really late so i insisted i drive my shiny new car. of course, the metered spots were all taken, so we looked for the least horrible parking garage. we found one, it was like 12 dollars an hour or something, but we went in. we kept driving up and up and up and up. finally i found a spot. then it was 3:30 and the museum closed at 5. plus i didnt really wanna pay 12 dollars an hour to park, considering that was more expensive than going to the museum. so we decided not to go. i went back out of the parking garage, where there was a jaded parking garage employee waiting to collect our money. i said in my most innocent voice,"uhm i couldn't really find a parking space". she looked mad. she said "where have you been?" i said "driving around looking for a space but i couldn't really find one." and she looked all pissed and stood there rubbing her face for a while then the meter went to zero and the arm went up. i said "thank you" but she slammed the window in my face. she was probably supposed to charge me. then mike and i drove aimlessly. at which point we discovered a movie theater which was playing "elephant" so we went in after mike asked someone to move out of a space so we could park there. the movie was just starting and it was only 4 bucks each (a total bargain in chicago). so we saw the movie and everything worked out fine.

then we went to cheesecake factoree! we had to wait a long time then we ate. but first mike ordered a pizza and some important kitchen staff looking guy comes out and says, it's going to be a few minutes on the portabella pizza, there was something about it i just didn't quite like. so mike and i speculated on what it might be, burned to a crisp, severed head on the pizza, and my favorite, a shoestring on the pizza. then we ate and we had some delicious oreo cheesecake (which is highly recommended). then i went to the restroom and when i came out, the mens restroom door was open and i saw the bartenders weiner!! ewwwwwww!!! mike was not amused.

so today i'm making brownies and we're going to mike's parents house for sunday dinner. and i have to read and clean the bunnycage, etc.

also, if you have ever uttered the phrase, "ewww, you have a booger in your moustache, go get some toilet paper", you just might be a redneck.

i guess i just might.

on the humor of life

today while waiting for the bus, i was thinking about the many ways one could interpret certain events and/or situations. two possible ways are funny and unfunny. i prefer the funny. almost any situation can be made humorous if you so desire. examples:

unfunny: we have an idiot president who does a lot of bad stuff that is sad when you really think about it.
funny: we have an idiot president who says things like "financial finances", can't quite master subject-verb agreement (example: "children is reading") and who will give an entire televised speech with a chocolate chip stuck to his forehead.

unfunny: you fart while giving a speech in front of a large group of people; everyone pretends that they don't hear it and you're totally humiliated.
funny: you fart while giving a speech in front of a large group of people and, instead of ignoring it you say, now that we've heard what my butt has to say about the topic, here's what i think.

unfunny: it's cold outside and icy and you're waiting for the bus.
funny: you play soccer with ice chunks and construction blocks while waiting for the bus, thereby keeping yourself warm and entertained, and everyone at the bus stop looks at you like you're a freak, causing fits of giggles in your head.

unfunny: you wake up at 8:26 and you have to catch the bus at 8:30.
funny: you somehow miraculously make it, even though your boyfriend, whom you just praised for always putting down the toilet lid, didn't this morning, and you nearly fell in as you were bleary-eyedly taking your morning pee. at 8:27. with three minutes to get to the bus stop. thanks mike. thanks a lot.

unfunny: someone calls you "remorseless", which you later discover is a sign of psychopathy.
funny: you laugh hysterically upon learning that "remorselessness" is a sign of psychopathy because, hey, you're a psychopath, and you don't care anyway.

okay now i want everyone else to think of funny stuff like this because, uh, i like funny stuff.

ode to my boyfriend.

if....

....you eat pixi stix in bed and i know you do because i found the wrappers....

....you hate the new sacagawea dollars and you leave them on the bookshelf for me to thieve....

....you have more than two pairs of pants hanging on the bathroom door right now....

....animals of at least two different species refer to you as "daddy"....

....you've learned to discern "real" sadness from "crazyraedymoodswing" sadness and to adjust your behavior accordingly....

....you pretend to want to play trivial pursuit when actually you really just wanna watch cops and it shows because you never count the right amount of spaces because youre watching cops out of the corner of your eye....

....you sit next to a litterbox on the couch....

....you have a neurological disorder which prevents you from closing cabinets....

....you are the only boy in the world who ALWAYS puts the toilet seat down *thanks*....

....you just might be my boyfriend. xo

this one's for YOU, LIZ!!

I was gonna post this huge post about how Liz was a bitch and everything but instead, Im posting this to tell her exactly how I feel:
liz please click on this

you just might be...

okay for some reason i posted the other day but it didn't show up. the main points were i got a new car and i hope everyone had a good holiday season, i did. blogger sucks.
anyways i decided to do some jokeses, you filthy humanses:

If...

...you are in debt, and this debt is more than four times what you make a year...

...you want to return a notebook because it doesn't meet your specifications...

...you get paid to go to school, which seems great, until you figure out you're making about $3 an hour...

...you end up living somewhere exotic like "chicago" or "irvine" or "dekalb"...

...your idea of fun is bar trivia at bennigan's...

...you get something called a "research crush" on someone, and giggle upon finally seeing the 80 year old man...

...you pay more than $150 for a single book...

...you just might be a grad student.
more is coming soon. i'm the new age jeff foxworthy, ladies and gents.

i'm never gonna let you go, i'm gonna hold you in my arms forever

that one goes out to all yous crazys bloggers out there. rah rah. okay well it's been awhile since i posted. so i'm going to post now. sentences are beyond my abilities right now, though.

-i had a nice break. i got presents. including my diploma. in a fancy frame. now i got me proof of my ejumakation. i'm not going to say anything else.

-kwanzaa was nice. i got a way cool rock band amplifier and microphone. which later spawned a song by my rock band. i may post it if i ever figure out how.

-i got a new car. you can see what it looks like here, if you care to. now i'm in debt up to my (if you're my mom, please move to next bullet point) asshole (sorry, mom).

-i'm back in chicago. school started yesterday. mike is talking to himself.

-i have photos. one day they will be on the photoblog. until then, chill.

-there are parakeets here and i keep seeing them flying by outside my window. they are pretty.

-snickers burnded her whiskers. i think it must have happened on the heater. or else mike was burninating her while i was gone. no, actually thanks for taking care of her while i was gone, mike. now mike is watching some canadian show about hospitals. yawn.

-okay well i think i'm done writing now. happy festivus for the restivus.

xo

-p.s. i think liz is a bitch too. that's why i heart her. *mwah*

i'm never gonna let you go, i'm gonna hold you in my arms forever

that one goes out to all yous crazys bloggers out there. rah rah. okay well it's been awhile since i posted. so i'm going to post now. sentences are beyond my abilities right now, though.

-i had a nice break. i got presents. including my diploma. in a fancy frame. now i got me proof of my ejumakation. i'm not going to say anything else.

-kwanzaa was nice. i got a way cool rock band amplifier and microphone. which later spawned a song by my rock band. i may post it if i ever figure out how.

-i got a new car. you can see what it looks like here, if you care to. now i'm in debt up to my (if you're my mom, please move to next bullet point) asshole (sorry, mom).

-i'm back in chicago. school started yesterday. mike is talking to himself.

-i have photos. one day they will be on the photoblog. until then, chill.

-there are parakeets here and i keep seeing them flying by outside my window. they are pretty.

-snickers burnded her whiskers. i think it must have happened on the heater. or else mike was burninating her while i was gone. no, actually thanks for taking care of her while i was gone, mike. now mike is watching some canadian show about hospitals. yawn.

-okay well i think i'm done writing now. happy festivus for the restivus.

xo

-p.s. i think liz is a bitch too. that's why i heart her. *mwah*