Wednesday, July 28, 2004
r.i.p. sir willoughby (alternate spelling: willowby)
sir willoughby, the happiest and most wonderful fish with the most amazing survival story ever, has left us. we mourn only for ourselves, as sir willoughby is the happiest fishy ever now swimming forever in that great body of water we like to call lake michigan. sir willoughby was born in the early 21st century, no one knows exactly when. his mother was princess of sri lanka and his father was an attorney working on behalf of lesser-privileged fish at petco's everywhere.
sir willoughby (s-dubs, as he was known to his family and closest friends) found himself captured and living in a tiny bubble at a petstore. all hope seemed lost when his eye became infected and gigantic and a fish died right outside his window, leaving his corpse clinging to the side of s-dubs's tank. one day, in early 2003, a nice couple came in and the guy decided he wanted to take s-dubs home. so he nursed him back to health and the eye thingy went away. sir willoughby became the happiest fish to ever live. he loved being petted, fed, and taken on trips to southern indiana. he would headbutt your finger when you put it in the tank. he bit me once. he was a loud chewer. he was a muchloved fish and a lucky one at that.
the funeral services were conducted at promontory point, on the banks of lake michigan. the service was attended by his adopted human father mike, who gave a stirring eulogy, and his surrogate mother, raedy. he was lain to rest on july 26, 2004 in lake michigan. he is preceded in death by a half brother, baconface II, and survived by his fishy daddy, surrogate fishy mommy, brother baconface III, and sister dr. snickers von floppenstein. in lieu of flowers, please make donations to the sir willoughby college trust fund for lesser-privileged pet store fish. may he rest in peace.
sir willoughby, the happiest and most wonderful fish with the most amazing survival story ever, has left us. we mourn only for ourselves, as sir willoughby is the happiest fishy ever now swimming forever in that great body of water we like to call lake michigan. sir willoughby was born in the early 21st century, no one knows exactly when. his mother was princess of sri lanka and his father was an attorney working on behalf of lesser-privileged fish at petco's everywhere.
sir willoughby (s-dubs, as he was known to his family and closest friends) found himself captured and living in a tiny bubble at a petstore. all hope seemed lost when his eye became infected and gigantic and a fish died right outside his window, leaving his corpse clinging to the side of s-dubs's tank. one day, in early 2003, a nice couple came in and the guy decided he wanted to take s-dubs home. so he nursed him back to health and the eye thingy went away. sir willoughby became the happiest fish to ever live. he loved being petted, fed, and taken on trips to southern indiana. he would headbutt your finger when you put it in the tank. he bit me once. he was a loud chewer. he was a muchloved fish and a lucky one at that.
the funeral services were conducted at promontory point, on the banks of lake michigan. the service was attended by his adopted human father mike, who gave a stirring eulogy, and his surrogate mother, raedy. he was lain to rest on july 26, 2004 in lake michigan. he is preceded in death by a half brother, baconface II, and survived by his fishy daddy, surrogate fishy mommy, brother baconface III, and sister dr. snickers von floppenstein. in lieu of flowers, please make donations to the sir willoughby college trust fund for lesser-privileged pet store fish. may he rest in peace.
