rah rah sis boom bah

attention, please

i'm not blogging
i'm not commenting
i'm not even using the internet anymore

because
no one ever comments besides me
i comment
no one replies
i post
no one replies
i set up a kwanzaa party planning headquarters
only liz joins

later when you're all crying yourselves to sleep because you miss my internet presence so intensely, just remember you brought this on yourselves.

i can still be reached by phone or through normal human interaction.

*end scene*