Tuesday, March 08, 2005
march 8
ode to you
one thing i keep thinking about when i'm thinking of women to put up here is that i know soooo many incredible women who inspire, intrigue, and amaze me every time i think about them. so i'd like to talk about some of those people. in no particular order.
liz
i gotta say, liz is really similar to me. there are the surface similarities like following similar career trajectories, or (well we used to) work and live in the same places, freakout personality, (what other people think are) bizarre spiritual ideas, etc. since parts of our personality are so similar, one of my favorite things about liz is the fact that i think what might take me several minutes to explain to someone else (and even then they might not get it), with liz, it would take about 20 seconds. i first realized this when once i came home and she was sitting on the porch. and we had only known each other for a couple months. and i think i just had an argument with the person i was dating at the time. and my reason for starting the argument, well, i won't reveal it, but it was basically i started the argument because of a personality flaw of my own. and i told liz about it. she understood in less than 10 seconds. because she has the same "flaw". maybe this is too vague, but maybe liz will understand what i'm talking about. i really love having liz around to understand me. some people you can have a conversation with without any effort.
melissa s
okay i think we all know how incredibly radical this girl is. i almost feel like saying " nuff said" because i think everyone would understand. but i guess i have family members who read this and might not know her. the thing i most admire about melissa is the fact that she is the most empathetic person i have ever met. i always wish i could be more like that. of course, she works tirelessly to help make other people's lives better. when i get jaded by things and want to stop thinking i can change anything or even caring about changing anything, i think of melissa learning to sew a giant quilt, or melissa running in the house, cooking something in the microwave, forgetting about it, and running back out to do some awesome service project. without feeding herself. because i really think melissa is changing things. and it makes me feel like i can too.
cristie and her girls
this is my aunt and cousins, four women i feel really lucky to be related to. these are people who were all major parts of my childhood and continue to be really important to me. my aunt is such an awesome woman, when i was really young i spent so much time with her and have such great memories. she always made me feel really special. and she still does. i always feel really supported by her and it makes me feel so comfortable, because i know whatever i do she will respect and praise. she always makes me smile. and she has three daughters. the oldest is kelsey, and i love this girl. i remember when we were younger i would be "babysitting" them and she and i would just hang out and have all this fun. we would sing boyz II men songs together so loud, really setting up vocal arrangements. and i think we sounded great. maybe we should go on american idol? and she always used to sing "i hate myself for lovin you" and i thought that was so cool and later i found out it was a joan jett song. and i thought that was cool. i hope i have been someone and continue to be someone who kelsey really feels she can confide in and talk to honestly. because it's hard to be the oldest sister but it makes you strong.
so the second is megan, who is probably the sweetest person i know. she has really made a lot of herself and i know she is going to keep doing so. i have complete faith in her to know that she is an amazing person and she can do anything she wants because she is capable of anything. she has the cutest baby ever, haylee, and i just knew immediately she would be a great mom. i'm really proud of her.
the youngest daughter is brittney and she is a really strong woman. she is much younger than me but i wish i could be as strong as she is. i think she has a lot to learn but i have total faith that she is going to figure everything out and be such a happy and fulfilled adult. because she will do what she wants. and she just has to figure out what it is that she wants. but she has plenty of time to do that and i know she's gonna choose something great.
my gramma
or as i call her, bugga. wow i am getting all emotional at this point and i'm about to start crying. i'm gonna take a break.
okay i'm back from my break. my gramma is the most active person i know. it's interesting all the young people i know and the most active person i know is my grandmother. she used to be in bloomington and she would meet me at the gas station at midnight because she wanted to give me 20 dollars. and my friends were like, your gramma is out at midnight? they were all amazed. i know when i'm a gramma i'll be out at midnight too. she never forgets a basketball game, band performance, dance rehearsal, spell bowl competition, race, graduation, birthday, or anything else you might have going on. i could always count on her to be there and when she wasn't there i knew she was thinking of me and praying for me. i called her the other day and she said she was just thinking about me. i love that connection. she took me to hawaii before i had my back surgery because it was a place she loved and a place she always thought about when she felt pain. she told me, when you feel pain, think of the ocean. and i have used that advice so often. it's a big reason i wanted to move here, to be close to the lake. it's not an ocean, but when i feel really bad, i go there and look at it and think about it. and it reminds me of when we were in hawaii and how beautiful and amazing and wonderful everything was. even if it's 30 degrees here. and she somehow senses when i'm totally broke and sends me money. once i was totally broke and living in bloomington and i got the mail and my gramma had mailed me a hundred dollar bill. it was like a miracle. best. gramma. ever.
my sister
my sister is awesome. this girl can do anything. ever since she was a very small girl, i always knew she would be awesome. she has always been the most artistic, creative, and interesting person i have ever known. i hope that i am a good big sister for her to look up to. we have gotten so close in the last few years and now she is really one of my dearest friends. and seriously, she can play any instrument she sees. and she is in so many bands, doing so much stuff i wish i had had the bravery to do when i was her age. or now. whenever i think i can't do something or people are going to make fun of me, i just think of my sister and what she would do. wwkd? my sister made me a poster that says "sisters are scrumptrulescent" and it's hanging on my wall and i look at it every single day. i love collaborating with her, she understands me so well and is so freaking talented. my sister is the most critical thinking person i know. she listens to every viewpoint, thinks really intensely, and makes her own unique opinion. about everything. which is totally different from anyone else's opinion. and probably right. i wish i was that thoughtful when i was her age. or now. the thing with her is that she is what i had wanted to be when i was her age and i'm still aspiring toward it. she already has it. wow.
my mom
my mom is, has always been, and will always be the single most important woman in my life. it's hard when you're a kid to really understand your mom and how important she is and all the things she is doing for you. because you take it for granted. i am so glad i have finally realized all of that. because i appreciate my mother and look up to her more than any other person. i hadn't realized how important my mother was to me until i moved out. i feel sad that it took me that long to realize it. i feel like i was probably an ungrateful child which makes her all the more amazing.
i can't imagine what my mother's life was like when she was my age. she already had one child, me. and i was a preschooler. there are so many things i know my mom did in my early childhood that have really helped me now. like reading a lot of books with me and everything. i always loved books and now i'm basically making them my profession. that's because my mom read to me all the time. i memorized books. and tricked people into thinking i could read when i was 2. because i had the book memorized. i know i could already read when i got to school. or else i picked it up really fast. i was the best reader in my class. because my mom was an awesome mom.
when i was a teenager i wanted to go to japan. my family didn't have a lot of money because, well, there were four kids. i wanted to go but i didn't want to ask. when i finally got up the courage, my parents were both just like yeah you can do that. there was no question about it. they just found the money and i had an awesome experience which has shaped me in so many ways. and when i majorly screwed up there, my mom didn't get angry. she just got upset because she thought my experience was going to be ruined. it wasn't.
when i get upset, the first person i want to talk to my mother. i used to call her, homesick and miserable, from college in the middle of the night. and she would calm me down and make me remember why i was there.
my mom always makes me laugh. and she is always laughing. i do that too. because i saw her laughing and i knew laughing would make everything okay. and she told me once when i called her and everything was messed up, just keep laughing.
recently i told my mom i'm going to run a triathlon. she laughed a minute, because, yeah, it's funny. i'm laughing too. but then she said, "well you could always do anything. i don't know about this athletic stuff though." god i love my mom.
my mom is the strongest woman i know. and i'm so happy i have my parents' relationship to aspire to. they have four children together. they have been through so much and come out strong and proud. they support their children no matter what. they support me in so many ways and my mom will always be the first person i call when something, anything, good or bad, happens to me. they still flirt. they are awesome.
i couldn't not be a feminist with a mother like this. she taught me women can do anything, women are strong, women are smart, women are funny, women can be as cool as guys, women can hold their own, and women make their own decisions. i couldn't be the woman i am if i hadn't known all of that. i wouldn't be me. i can only be amazed by that. my mom is amazing.
ode to you
one thing i keep thinking about when i'm thinking of women to put up here is that i know soooo many incredible women who inspire, intrigue, and amaze me every time i think about them. so i'd like to talk about some of those people. in no particular order.
liz
i gotta say, liz is really similar to me. there are the surface similarities like following similar career trajectories, or (well we used to) work and live in the same places, freakout personality, (what other people think are) bizarre spiritual ideas, etc. since parts of our personality are so similar, one of my favorite things about liz is the fact that i think what might take me several minutes to explain to someone else (and even then they might not get it), with liz, it would take about 20 seconds. i first realized this when once i came home and she was sitting on the porch. and we had only known each other for a couple months. and i think i just had an argument with the person i was dating at the time. and my reason for starting the argument, well, i won't reveal it, but it was basically i started the argument because of a personality flaw of my own. and i told liz about it. she understood in less than 10 seconds. because she has the same "flaw". maybe this is too vague, but maybe liz will understand what i'm talking about. i really love having liz around to understand me. some people you can have a conversation with without any effort.
melissa s
okay i think we all know how incredibly radical this girl is. i almost feel like saying " nuff said" because i think everyone would understand. but i guess i have family members who read this and might not know her. the thing i most admire about melissa is the fact that she is the most empathetic person i have ever met. i always wish i could be more like that. of course, she works tirelessly to help make other people's lives better. when i get jaded by things and want to stop thinking i can change anything or even caring about changing anything, i think of melissa learning to sew a giant quilt, or melissa running in the house, cooking something in the microwave, forgetting about it, and running back out to do some awesome service project. without feeding herself. because i really think melissa is changing things. and it makes me feel like i can too.
cristie and her girls
this is my aunt and cousins, four women i feel really lucky to be related to. these are people who were all major parts of my childhood and continue to be really important to me. my aunt is such an awesome woman, when i was really young i spent so much time with her and have such great memories. she always made me feel really special. and she still does. i always feel really supported by her and it makes me feel so comfortable, because i know whatever i do she will respect and praise. she always makes me smile. and she has three daughters. the oldest is kelsey, and i love this girl. i remember when we were younger i would be "babysitting" them and she and i would just hang out and have all this fun. we would sing boyz II men songs together so loud, really setting up vocal arrangements. and i think we sounded great. maybe we should go on american idol? and she always used to sing "i hate myself for lovin you" and i thought that was so cool and later i found out it was a joan jett song. and i thought that was cool. i hope i have been someone and continue to be someone who kelsey really feels she can confide in and talk to honestly. because it's hard to be the oldest sister but it makes you strong.
so the second is megan, who is probably the sweetest person i know. she has really made a lot of herself and i know she is going to keep doing so. i have complete faith in her to know that she is an amazing person and she can do anything she wants because she is capable of anything. she has the cutest baby ever, haylee, and i just knew immediately she would be a great mom. i'm really proud of her.
the youngest daughter is brittney and she is a really strong woman. she is much younger than me but i wish i could be as strong as she is. i think she has a lot to learn but i have total faith that she is going to figure everything out and be such a happy and fulfilled adult. because she will do what she wants. and she just has to figure out what it is that she wants. but she has plenty of time to do that and i know she's gonna choose something great.
my gramma
or as i call her, bugga. wow i am getting all emotional at this point and i'm about to start crying. i'm gonna take a break.
okay i'm back from my break. my gramma is the most active person i know. it's interesting all the young people i know and the most active person i know is my grandmother. she used to be in bloomington and she would meet me at the gas station at midnight because she wanted to give me 20 dollars. and my friends were like, your gramma is out at midnight? they were all amazed. i know when i'm a gramma i'll be out at midnight too. she never forgets a basketball game, band performance, dance rehearsal, spell bowl competition, race, graduation, birthday, or anything else you might have going on. i could always count on her to be there and when she wasn't there i knew she was thinking of me and praying for me. i called her the other day and she said she was just thinking about me. i love that connection. she took me to hawaii before i had my back surgery because it was a place she loved and a place she always thought about when she felt pain. she told me, when you feel pain, think of the ocean. and i have used that advice so often. it's a big reason i wanted to move here, to be close to the lake. it's not an ocean, but when i feel really bad, i go there and look at it and think about it. and it reminds me of when we were in hawaii and how beautiful and amazing and wonderful everything was. even if it's 30 degrees here. and she somehow senses when i'm totally broke and sends me money. once i was totally broke and living in bloomington and i got the mail and my gramma had mailed me a hundred dollar bill. it was like a miracle. best. gramma. ever.
my sister
my sister is awesome. this girl can do anything. ever since she was a very small girl, i always knew she would be awesome. she has always been the most artistic, creative, and interesting person i have ever known. i hope that i am a good big sister for her to look up to. we have gotten so close in the last few years and now she is really one of my dearest friends. and seriously, she can play any instrument she sees. and she is in so many bands, doing so much stuff i wish i had had the bravery to do when i was her age. or now. whenever i think i can't do something or people are going to make fun of me, i just think of my sister and what she would do. wwkd? my sister made me a poster that says "sisters are scrumptrulescent" and it's hanging on my wall and i look at it every single day. i love collaborating with her, she understands me so well and is so freaking talented. my sister is the most critical thinking person i know. she listens to every viewpoint, thinks really intensely, and makes her own unique opinion. about everything. which is totally different from anyone else's opinion. and probably right. i wish i was that thoughtful when i was her age. or now. the thing with her is that she is what i had wanted to be when i was her age and i'm still aspiring toward it. she already has it. wow.
my mom
my mom is, has always been, and will always be the single most important woman in my life. it's hard when you're a kid to really understand your mom and how important she is and all the things she is doing for you. because you take it for granted. i am so glad i have finally realized all of that. because i appreciate my mother and look up to her more than any other person. i hadn't realized how important my mother was to me until i moved out. i feel sad that it took me that long to realize it. i feel like i was probably an ungrateful child which makes her all the more amazing.
i can't imagine what my mother's life was like when she was my age. she already had one child, me. and i was a preschooler. there are so many things i know my mom did in my early childhood that have really helped me now. like reading a lot of books with me and everything. i always loved books and now i'm basically making them my profession. that's because my mom read to me all the time. i memorized books. and tricked people into thinking i could read when i was 2. because i had the book memorized. i know i could already read when i got to school. or else i picked it up really fast. i was the best reader in my class. because my mom was an awesome mom.
when i was a teenager i wanted to go to japan. my family didn't have a lot of money because, well, there were four kids. i wanted to go but i didn't want to ask. when i finally got up the courage, my parents were both just like yeah you can do that. there was no question about it. they just found the money and i had an awesome experience which has shaped me in so many ways. and when i majorly screwed up there, my mom didn't get angry. she just got upset because she thought my experience was going to be ruined. it wasn't.
when i get upset, the first person i want to talk to my mother. i used to call her, homesick and miserable, from college in the middle of the night. and she would calm me down and make me remember why i was there.
my mom always makes me laugh. and she is always laughing. i do that too. because i saw her laughing and i knew laughing would make everything okay. and she told me once when i called her and everything was messed up, just keep laughing.
recently i told my mom i'm going to run a triathlon. she laughed a minute, because, yeah, it's funny. i'm laughing too. but then she said, "well you could always do anything. i don't know about this athletic stuff though." god i love my mom.
my mom is the strongest woman i know. and i'm so happy i have my parents' relationship to aspire to. they have four children together. they have been through so much and come out strong and proud. they support their children no matter what. they support me in so many ways and my mom will always be the first person i call when something, anything, good or bad, happens to me. they still flirt. they are awesome.
i couldn't not be a feminist with a mother like this. she taught me women can do anything, women are strong, women are smart, women are funny, women can be as cool as guys, women can hold their own, and women make their own decisions. i couldn't be the woman i am if i hadn't known all of that. i wouldn't be me. i can only be amazed by that. my mom is amazing.
