Tuesday, May 17, 2005
warning: rambling, incoherent blog post ahead. enter at your own risk
fear of the unknown.
yes, the unknown.
it is scary. but we have to be brave. think of those things you love to do. when was the first time you did them? wasn't it scary? isn't life scary? wow.
now, i'm not an incredibly articulate person or a good writer like so many of my friends who have blogs. i read their blogs and i'm like wow i sound like a retarded puppy on mine compared to this. look at the way she builds up to this dramatic effect and then makes some totally profound statement. why can't i do that? or wow how awesomely she tells that funny story. i'm literally cracking up here. but my blog is like 1. this thing happened. 2. this thing happened. 3. i just saw this on judge mathis. 4. look at this funny website. 5. i love you.
totally simple, no capitalization, poor grammar, questionable spelling at times, no thinking or processing, just typing until i get bored with that and do something else. but it is a blog.
anyways the point of this post is that something has really really angered me and upon getting angry about it for about the 20th time today, i realized that fear of the unknown is a recurrent theme in my life right now. so here's why i'm angry:
mike and i live in a very interesting neighborhood, as i alluded to earlier with the judge mathis comment that no one except him seemed to get or at least care about, based on the lack of commenting that occurred. anyway, in this neighborhood we have the following mixture:
millionaires
louis farrakhan
nobel prize winners
west side gangsta teenagers
old jewish ladies
people whose parents have an extra 30k/year for college (which is an interesting mixture itself of rich white kids, some smart, some not, some pissed they're not at harvard, some happy they're not at a state school, international students, etc)
people who can't wait to get the hell out of here and move to the north side.
homeless people
people who talk on tiny cellphones
people who talk to themselves
people who run with their babies in strollers, thrusting them unthinkingly into traffic
people who scream openly at their babies in the park
then, somewhere in this mess, is me and mike.
the point is i love this neighborhood. this is the most interesting place i have ever lived. i am never. ever. bored here. ever. sure it's a pain in the ass to drive around for an hour looking for a parking space. sure it's annoying to hear constant teen-yelling out the window. sure it's scary to walk down the street alone at night. sure it's windy. always. no matter what. sure it's still freaking cold here. sure sure sure. but i really feel amazing here. part of that is the diversity. the amazing ness. the mercedes speeding down the street, the crackhead asking me for 50 cents, everything.
okay i'm babbling again. you are all getting a rare inside glimpse into how my brain works because i'm going through a weird transition, which is i guess basically all that happens in your early 20s. and today i've decided to broadcast it on the internet.
oh yeah the thing that pissed me off was the following:
if you've ever visited me and mike, then you know we live above a train platform. the train runs above the street and sidewalk, and under the train, next to the sidewalk is the train station and then there is this little cubbyhole, about the size of like a living room or something, that is for some reason there. it's just this little enclosure that is protected under the train tracks, totally shielding someone who hangs out in there from the weather. i can't explain it very well because i don't think there's a word for that sort of thing. i could draw a picture though but i'm not that smart with computers. well anyway it's basically a room, an outdoor room, with a roof and three walls and a huge opening that opens comes out onto the sidewalk. and yes homeless people hang out in there.
first, why is everyone so scared of homeless people? why do people turn their heads when they walk past? why is it okay to totally ignore them like they're not even human? let me tell you something, i don't know anyone who is not a short series of random, unfortunate events away from being homeless. i'm not better than someone just because they're homeless and i'm not. anyway this is not the point. but yeah this is something everyone should really think about. and i'll put up a rant about it sometime.
but the point is, (which i keep saying and then not getting to the point), a couple of months ago there was this "opinion" in the paper by this woman, who kept referring to the "street characters" in hyde park and how much they scare her with her small children in tow. how she saw a homeless man peeing in the alley and had to hide her son's eyes.
firstly, give me a break!! like this little boy hasn't seen another man pee?!! has he not used a public bathroom? lighten up, lady!! peeing is not a big deal. and where else is a homeless man supposed to pee?
then she goes on to talk about how the city should take care of this little outdoor room thing because there's one homeless guy who, yes, talks to himself, and he hangs out in there and talks to himself and it frightens her when she walks by.
i've seen this guy about a hundred times. anyone who lives in this neighborhood knows him. he wouldn't hurt a fly. he just talks to himself. and is black. and homeless. and hangs out in this outdoor room. you know you're gonna see him there when you walk past. and he's gonna be talking to himself. he's not even aware you exist, or at least doesn't act like it.
and this woman says in her column that she calls the police whenever she sees him. just uptight, judgmental, uneducated lady. who obviously is scared of people who are mentally ill. i know this is true of a lot of people. because it's something we don't understand. and our first reaction to the unknown is to be afraid of it.
anyway a couple of days ago i was walking home and saw, they boarded up the little room. where is that guy gonna hang out?! like if i just came home one day and my door was glued shut. breaks my heart. all because some uppity white lady was scared. i haven't seen him since then. i hope she didn't get him arrested. i'm bummed out.
please dont' be scared of people just because they're homeless. please don't ignore them. please don't act like you're better than someone else. please don't hide your childrens eyes when people are peeing in the alley. children need to know that homelessness exists and why it exists and how you should treat people.
and oh yeah i don't know what i'm doing with myself. i'm just drifting. i'm a drifter. when you see me talking to myself in an outdoor room in about five years, please don't call the police.
thanks.
fear of the unknown.
yes, the unknown.
it is scary. but we have to be brave. think of those things you love to do. when was the first time you did them? wasn't it scary? isn't life scary? wow.
now, i'm not an incredibly articulate person or a good writer like so many of my friends who have blogs. i read their blogs and i'm like wow i sound like a retarded puppy on mine compared to this. look at the way she builds up to this dramatic effect and then makes some totally profound statement. why can't i do that? or wow how awesomely she tells that funny story. i'm literally cracking up here. but my blog is like 1. this thing happened. 2. this thing happened. 3. i just saw this on judge mathis. 4. look at this funny website. 5. i love you.
totally simple, no capitalization, poor grammar, questionable spelling at times, no thinking or processing, just typing until i get bored with that and do something else. but it is a blog.
anyways the point of this post is that something has really really angered me and upon getting angry about it for about the 20th time today, i realized that fear of the unknown is a recurrent theme in my life right now. so here's why i'm angry:
mike and i live in a very interesting neighborhood, as i alluded to earlier with the judge mathis comment that no one except him seemed to get or at least care about, based on the lack of commenting that occurred. anyway, in this neighborhood we have the following mixture:
millionaires
louis farrakhan
nobel prize winners
west side gangsta teenagers
old jewish ladies
people whose parents have an extra 30k/year for college (which is an interesting mixture itself of rich white kids, some smart, some not, some pissed they're not at harvard, some happy they're not at a state school, international students, etc)
people who can't wait to get the hell out of here and move to the north side.
homeless people
people who talk on tiny cellphones
people who talk to themselves
people who run with their babies in strollers, thrusting them unthinkingly into traffic
people who scream openly at their babies in the park
then, somewhere in this mess, is me and mike.
the point is i love this neighborhood. this is the most interesting place i have ever lived. i am never. ever. bored here. ever. sure it's a pain in the ass to drive around for an hour looking for a parking space. sure it's annoying to hear constant teen-yelling out the window. sure it's scary to walk down the street alone at night. sure it's windy. always. no matter what. sure it's still freaking cold here. sure sure sure. but i really feel amazing here. part of that is the diversity. the amazing ness. the mercedes speeding down the street, the crackhead asking me for 50 cents, everything.
okay i'm babbling again. you are all getting a rare inside glimpse into how my brain works because i'm going through a weird transition, which is i guess basically all that happens in your early 20s. and today i've decided to broadcast it on the internet.
oh yeah the thing that pissed me off was the following:
if you've ever visited me and mike, then you know we live above a train platform. the train runs above the street and sidewalk, and under the train, next to the sidewalk is the train station and then there is this little cubbyhole, about the size of like a living room or something, that is for some reason there. it's just this little enclosure that is protected under the train tracks, totally shielding someone who hangs out in there from the weather. i can't explain it very well because i don't think there's a word for that sort of thing. i could draw a picture though but i'm not that smart with computers. well anyway it's basically a room, an outdoor room, with a roof and three walls and a huge opening that opens comes out onto the sidewalk. and yes homeless people hang out in there.
first, why is everyone so scared of homeless people? why do people turn their heads when they walk past? why is it okay to totally ignore them like they're not even human? let me tell you something, i don't know anyone who is not a short series of random, unfortunate events away from being homeless. i'm not better than someone just because they're homeless and i'm not. anyway this is not the point. but yeah this is something everyone should really think about. and i'll put up a rant about it sometime.
but the point is, (which i keep saying and then not getting to the point), a couple of months ago there was this "opinion" in the paper by this woman, who kept referring to the "street characters" in hyde park and how much they scare her with her small children in tow. how she saw a homeless man peeing in the alley and had to hide her son's eyes.
firstly, give me a break!! like this little boy hasn't seen another man pee?!! has he not used a public bathroom? lighten up, lady!! peeing is not a big deal. and where else is a homeless man supposed to pee?
then she goes on to talk about how the city should take care of this little outdoor room thing because there's one homeless guy who, yes, talks to himself, and he hangs out in there and talks to himself and it frightens her when she walks by.
i've seen this guy about a hundred times. anyone who lives in this neighborhood knows him. he wouldn't hurt a fly. he just talks to himself. and is black. and homeless. and hangs out in this outdoor room. you know you're gonna see him there when you walk past. and he's gonna be talking to himself. he's not even aware you exist, or at least doesn't act like it.
and this woman says in her column that she calls the police whenever she sees him. just uptight, judgmental, uneducated lady. who obviously is scared of people who are mentally ill. i know this is true of a lot of people. because it's something we don't understand. and our first reaction to the unknown is to be afraid of it.
anyway a couple of days ago i was walking home and saw, they boarded up the little room. where is that guy gonna hang out?! like if i just came home one day and my door was glued shut. breaks my heart. all because some uppity white lady was scared. i haven't seen him since then. i hope she didn't get him arrested. i'm bummed out.
please dont' be scared of people just because they're homeless. please don't ignore them. please don't act like you're better than someone else. please don't hide your childrens eyes when people are peeing in the alley. children need to know that homelessness exists and why it exists and how you should treat people.
and oh yeah i don't know what i'm doing with myself. i'm just drifting. i'm a drifter. when you see me talking to myself in an outdoor room in about five years, please don't call the police.
thanks.
