rah rah sis boom bah

1. i was brad and angelina's babysitter. not a nanny but like the
babysitter they call when they want to go to the movies on a friday night.
they lived in a normal sized house and all of their children were well
behaved. i set a pizza on fire, but not on purpose. they paid me an
appropriate amount when they returned home.

2. we played a show and no sound came out of my guitar. this is the
equivalent of one of those dreams where you open your mouth to scream but
nothing comes out. you know, you just feel ineffective and lame?

3. another one that was funnier that i can't remember.